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My rebirth after my traumatic heartache

To say that I got burnt, would be an understatement. After many heartbreaks, I meet the man who I considered to be the love of my life and best friend. I truly believed all the heartbreaks in the past had happened to lead me to him. We get engaged and I’m on cloud nine. A wedding date was set, dress paid for, venue booked, etc. Nine months into our engagement and five months before we were scheduled to get married he breaks up with me. After some investigating, I found out he was lying about the real reason he ended our relationship, and discovered he had been living a double life and had been lying and cheating on me for quite some time. It was crazy. I felt like I was living a Lifetime Movie. It obviously was not easy but I was and am so grateful to have caught him and seen everything for myself.

Yes, I caught the jerk red handed at his secret home with his new girl.
Everyone hears horrible break up stories but you never think it’s going to happen to you. Then your worst nightmare occurs. It felt like I got hit by a bullet, hit by a bus and stabbed in my heart (You get the point). Literally every person I shared my story with told me that it was the worst break up they have ever heard of. It was so ludicrous that I felt that people may actually think I was making it up. I had never experienced so much pain in my life. Anyhow, I cried many nights and couldn’t understand why this had happened to me.

love

Finally after a several months of feeling sorry for myself, I smacked myself in the face and decided life had to go on. I couldn’t let this get the best of me. I could either dwell on the situation and try to put the puzzle pieces together or I could shake it off and work on rebuilding a better life. I saw the red flags and caught him in so many lies. I guess I was just crazy in love. So what did I do? I brushed it off, trusted him and hoped for the best. What did that result to? Oh, just me getting burned. I realized that at the end of the day, it’s better to be single and alone, than to be in a relationship and unhappy.

After doing some self-evaluating, I realized I was the common denominator in all my past relationships. I allowed men to mistreat me and was so easy to forgive. The best revenge a woman can take is to be genuinely happy. It was time to work on my self-love. If I didn’t realize my worth and set standards and boundaries for how I needed and wanted to be treated, then of course men would take advantage of that weakness. After realizing this I knew that I needed to take some time to work on myself. Serial dating was not the answer to heal my broken heart. It was time to fall madly in love with myself.

I went to therapy, spent time with my girlfriends, read books, listened to music, cooked, etc. I analyzed my life and thought about my career goals. I have been in the helping professions for quite some time now and have always wanted to run my own business. Finally one day after speaking to my cousin about business possibilities, it dawn on me that life coaching may be a great career for me. So here I am. Being real, opening up, sharing my experiences and life lessons, in hopes that I can help others that are or have been in my shoes.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how “sexy” you may look. People grow old. Your hair will turn grey, your skin will sag…What doesn’t change is the beauty you have in your heart. Nothing is more beautiful than a strong, confident woman. You have the power to plot the twist to any turmoil you’re facing. Let your difficulties empower you to turn your life around. Don’t be a victim. Readjust your crown and be the QUEEN you were born to be! Life is too short to be anything but happy!